This week has been crazy, and I need you to know something.
Your messages are helping keep me strong.
I met some of the most amazing people and best friends in there. You may think my messages are helping you, but yours are helping me so much more than you know. Even when I don’t have prepaid replies to send, you’re still showing up. You make me feel loved when I’m overwhelmed. You put a smile on my face even out here.
Because of that—and because things moved fast the last few days—I already have another update.
I didn’t move forward with the Tesla guy… again.
It honestly wasn’t about him. It was me. I saw something in myself I’ve never really stopped long enough to notice before—emotional immaturity. I rush. I attach. I become co-dependent. And for the first time in my life, I chose to stop.
I’m actually proud of that.
I just finished my 4th and 5th steps with my sponsor, and I feel more free than I have in a long time. I let go of a lot of trauma. I may try dating again in the new year… but for now, I’m choosing growth.
I turned in my onboarding paperwork for my new job.
I checked “yes” on the felony question.
I consented to the background check.
And then… I waited.
No one has said anything yet.
I have my company laptop. My email is set up. I start on site at 6AM. I’m still bracing myself for the moment it might come up, but for now, I’m choosing to be excited for the opportunity in front of me.
I will actually be in full PPE tomorrow, stepping into where the construction is happening for the first time. I’ll try to get a picture with my hard hat!
I had a rough afternoon recently.
My old boss from the ministry is getting worse. His dementia. He called me, accusing me of things that weren’t real, making threats. It was scary. It didn’t make sense.
I called my mom. We reached out to people who might be able to help him, but I had to make a hard decision—I cut ties completely.
After the call, I felt panic creeping in.
But I didn’t spiral.
I went to church anyway. I gave everything to God. Then I went to dinner and an AA meeting. And somewhere in the middle of that, your messages came through again—reminding me that I’m not alone.
I caught myself trying to take it all back from God later that day… and then I gave it back again.
That’s new for me.
I don’t wait until things are completely out of control anymore.
Growing up is hard.
But I am seriously adulting, guys.
The website I’m building is going really well.
My client loves the banner I designed. I created a mock homepage from a sketch he gave me, and he said it was exactly what he envisioned. Now I’m working on getting it live and building out pages for businesses to advertise.
It’s WordPress, but I’ve been able to write my own HTML and CSS into it, so it still feels like me.
Merry Christmas. Happy holidays. Sending my love.
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